The Humorous 365 Days Factual joke . A must read !

A worker in an electronic company wanted a Pay Rise, the CEO got furious and this was the response from the CEO. 
Company CEO : A year has 365 days for you to come to work .  Do you realize that  after taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left of the 365 days.

There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work in this company and nobody ever comes to work on those days. So there are only 263 days left. 

You sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so we're left with 141 days. If you fooled around for only 1 Hour a day which you always do, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.

You spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. 

You spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests for promotions take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. 
Taking off approximately 40 days of the national and company holidays, you are only left with 6 days.Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the year to study! 
Let's say you only go out for 2 days...You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday which the company throws you a party and you get an off for the whole day ! So can you state clearly why you must have this Salary increase you are demanding from the company.

Ladies these are 14 RULES ON HOW TO KEEP YOUR MAN

14 RULES ON HOW TO KEEP
YOUR MAN
1. Don't listen to your single girl-friends
2. Compliment your man
3. Don't try to change your man
4. Know what your man likes
5. Curb your jealousy
6. Keep your body right and looking good (this goes for the
men too)
7. Stay fresh (hygiene, no grandma panties lol, get your
eyebrows done, no do-rags)
8. Be spontaneous
9. Don't talk him to death
10. Be sexually open
11. Don't give him a hard time, be supportive
12. Don't force him to do something he doesn't want to do eg sex
13. Don’t listen to rumors
14. Most importantly, Appreciate what he has done/given to u no
matter how little it is

EXCLUSIVE Luo Benga by 'Omena band'

An exclusive most entertaining Luo benga fusion , the best that I have come to listen to over a long a period of time about Omena. The song is about Omena which is very popular with the Luo nation, the Luo population . This one hit that  cuts across all ages the youth and old alike .

The song is a debut song of the Omena band. Omena stands for small fish which is a favorite dish to the Luo's and is a slowly gaining popularity in the whole country as it said to contain omega six which the doctors have recommended for the old and the young generation alike

The small Fish have been Immortalized and been used to act like a human being.
Enjoy the song here -->  http://youtu.be/uwFcVjwUqrY

The song is a master piece, for those craving for a piece of their heritage and are proud of who they are , The Luo, Ujaluo itakuua  
Omena means fingerlings or small fish...
It's simple and beautiful, you have to watch it!
‪

Kenyans pays tribute to a fallen gallant kenyan Politician

 Kenyans from all corners of the country were enjoined in a national mourning of one of the country's outspoken, gallant and humorous senator Gerald Otieno Kajwang'. Led by the president Uhuru Kenyatta , his deputy William Ruto , Former prime Minister Raila Odinga , former Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka , the mourners gathered at the Lee funeral home where the body of the late senator lies.

At his rural villagers began streaming as early as midnight Tuesday to condole with the Family. In the morning the home was a buzz of activities as people kept on streaming from all walks of life. Journalist from various TV and Radio stations had set camp at the home of the senator to stream events as they unfolded to the rest of the people from other parts of the country who could not make it to where the family members were.

The national assembly and the senate adjourned from the afternoon sessions to have leaders pay their special tribute to their fallen colleague. The leaders present were given a chance to pass their condolences as the former Prime minister was invited to attend the special sitting.When the leaders gave an account of their last moments with the Fallen senator.

The president urged  the Kenyans on social media to desist from spewing hate messages and instead let the family and friends of the late senator mourn in peace.

 The politician was famously Known for his Mapambano slogan which was his trademark song for the political rallies he attended. The late politician had just atttended a function before giving his last speech in a senate sitting on Tuesday evening Where he gave a passionate address on issue of security in the country.

Kajwang with Bonny Khalwalwe in at a public rally

The world Pays Last tribute to the Munroe, With his last words to Kenyans

 The prominent motivational speaker and evangelical pastor Myles Munroe Finally brought home but perhaps Kenyans must have the best last moments with Monroe here are his last words to Kenyans. 
 

MUNROE'S LAST WORDS TO KENYANS AND
HUMANITY AT LARGE
I have discovered the wealthiest place on earth.
First, I thought it was the gold mines of Ghana;
I thought it was the diamond mines of south Africa;
I thought it was the silver mines of Peru;
I thought the wealthiest part of the world was the oil
field of Iran, Iraq, Kuwait or Saudi Arabia.
But I discovered the wealthiest part of the world is not too far from your house here in Kenya!
As a matter of fact we pass it everyday! The wealthiest part of the world is in fact the cemetery.Why is it so wealthy?
Because buried in the cemetery are books that were not written
The graveyard is filled with music we've never heard
The graveyard is filled with poetry never read
The cemetery is filled with businesses that never opened
The graveyard is filled with awesome companies that never got started
The cemetery is filled with inventions we have never used
The graveyard is filled with great powerful women who died as prostitutes
The graveyard is filled with awesome men who died as alcoholics and drug addicts! The cemetery is a rich place!
I came to Kenya because i want you to rob the cemetery.
I want you to die EMPTY!!
I want you to die with nothing else left to do.I want you to die because you poured out all your dreams, ideas, visions, books, music, inventions and publications!
Don't die OLD, die EMPTY!
As a matter of fact, one of the greatest statements I have ever heard about dying is this statement, "IT IS FINISHED!"
Three words and the guy who said them was only 33yrs old!
He didn't say 'I am finished', because we do not die, we are eternal spirits.
He said "IT IS FINISHED!" poured out what i came to earth to pour out
My goal in life is to have everyone die empty I want to challenge every Kenyan. Go to the cemetery and disappoint the graveyard. Die like the
apostle Paul who said "I have finished my cause, kept the faith, I have been poured out like a drink
offering,there is nothing left and I'm ready to die. That's how i wanna die.I want to die in that way because there is nothing else left to keep me alive.
I have done what i was born to do.
This to me is the greatest service to humanity, to deliver to us what you came to give us.Your future is not ahead of you, but it's inside you and when you die, die like i want to die,'EMPTY!' ‪#‎MylesMunroe‬

DRAMA as a female MP Scampers Out of The University of Nairobi building.

Monday morning at The university of Nairobi in Kenya, activities are brought to a temporary halt after a slight commotion is experienced inside one the university buildings, Gandhi wing. A lady at her mid ages emerged from the building looking tensed and scared. She hastily took in heels past students who were headed for their morning lectures and headed straight for the car park which is a few meters away from the building.

A few seconds an elderly Professor emerges from the building looking so angry and as if searching for someone from the curious onlookers who at the time were looking perplexed and curios wanting to know what in the lords name was happening in the cold Monday morning at the otherwise quite university building.  

It later emerged that the lady who rushed out of the building was a nominated Member of Parliament who happened to have registered for a Bachelors of Art course at the University and was not willing to attend classes claiming she had busy schedules and could not cope with daily lessons which is compulsory in the university. She therefore opted to have a shortcut and that’s when she went to consult a professor at the department of political science probably to bribe him to allow things run smoothly.

The No-nonsense Professor got furious at what he termed as an undermining of his character by thinking he was as 'cheap and stupid' as those Lecturers  from what he terms ‘Kiosk Universities’ who thinks money is the solution to everything. The politician scampered out when the Professor attempted to make calls which the politician thought was either to the police which a few blocks away or to the ruthless Vice chancellor, who would have ruthlessly dealt with her or tainted her name. This incident comes a few days after a city politician graduated from a University one year after she enrolled raising eyebrows within academic fraternity on the validity and value of degrees issued in Kenyan universities. 

The professor is known for taking matters education serious and has previously been invited in several occasions by World universities to offer lecturers out of respect and as such he values education more than anything. It annoys him when claims are made that Kenyan universities produces ‘half balked’ students.

Hillarious MeMes after Jicho Pevu's Exposed a Con Pastor Kanyari

A famous Kenyan pastor in Nairobi who allegedly for a long time has been conning Kenyans from their hard earned cash was exposed by the KTN in a show that is famously known as Jicho Pevu. The pastor is a son to a female pastor who had previously been exposed and even taken to court for defrauding king . The pastor picked up after the mother was in custody and took over from her. He is also a husband to a famous Gospel artist Betty Bayo , Popularly known known for her 11th hour song.Begging the question are we living in the eleventh hour?

Fabio capello ‏@Fabischka

Kanyiri is an EntrePRAYneur #Jichopevu ameemploy watu kwa Customer care @ComedycentralKe

 The Makodingo® ‏@makodingo

I'm nominating Pastor Kanyari for a Head of State Commendation...this is pure talent!!! #JichoPevu

 DR ROUGH ‏@roughsanjani

Kanyari should be deported to West Africa if at all he is a healer

 The Mix Genius™ ‏@DJSADIC

Those Churches asking people to "panda mbegu" should be registered under the ministry of agriculture..

 The Mix Genius™ ‏@DJSADIC I hope Kanyari is financially ready with Britam coz life might surprise him..

 @xtiandela: Kanyari's Church is busier than the Safaricom Customer care center @Victormatara: My gut tells me this is how they make the calls on Maina& Kin'gang'i in the Morning classic

The Makodingo® ‏@makodingo

I'm sure Prophet Kanyari's supporters are on their knees interceding on his behalf - against agent of Satan

The Makodingo® ‏@makodingo

Some of your Bishops and Pastors - the ones you fondly call "Daddy" and "Mommy" - are just posh versions of Prophet Kanyari