Tuesday 7 October 2014

HILLARIOUS ; WHAT RUTO HAS DONE HOURS IN PRESIDENCY

The President of Kenya is set to leave for the Hague based International Criminal court, where he is facing charges of  Crimes against humanity.Therefore let it not be said that I am attending the status conference as the president of Kenya,” he continued. “Nothing in my position or my deeds as president warrants my being in court.” In address in the National assembly and the nation at large, he announced in a televised adress that he will be stepping down as his Deputy William Ruto, takes charge of the nation.

 Less than 24 hours later, students across the Universities have Organized a visit to the deputy to woe him assist them on several issues affecting them. Led by students from the  University of Nairobi the students have asked the president to act on these items ;-

1.Fire Gen.Karangi n replace him with 5 generals, each general representing the 5 big tribes
2.Ensure burning of parliament and senate buildings to the ground, freeze all MP's bank accounts
3.Put RAILA under house arrest in Lodwar.
4.Close all public universities and recruit all students into the NYS and military, to be trained for 18 months
5.Appoint new cabinet and principal secretaries, every new official must kill the present one to be sworn in.
6.Close Somalia/Kenya border
7.Ensure all governors share offices with County commissioners, county headquarters to be inside police stations
8.Increase salary of military and police by 200%
9.All citizens living in cities to be taken to the village to work in huge farmlands,, all village residents to be brought to the city.Agriculture will drive the economy forward
10.All roads, buildings, schools , universities named after former presidents to be named after wild animals
11.Illegalize access to social media via phones. All browsing to be done at cyber cafes in chief's compound.
12.All media houses to report from state house
13.Abolish the courts, all cases to be heard n solved by police at police stations.Only serious cases r referred to state house.if u refer case to state house u must win, if u lose u die
14.Release all prisoners. 


 

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